Halfbrown

Don’t monkey around with a Project Manager!

A man walked into a pet shop and noticed they had a large selection of monkeys. Just then another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’d like a monkey that can program in C, please.” The shopkeeper went to the back room and came back with a monkey and said “That’ll be $5,000.”

The customer gave the shopkeeper $5,000 and walked out with the monkey. The tourist walked over to the shopkeeper and said “That’s a pricey monkey!”

The shopkeeper replied “Well it’s not often that you find a monkey that can write bug-free code in C and gets paid in bananas.”

“A programming monkey… what’ll they think of next? Do you have any others like that one?”, asked the tourist.

“Sure, we have a C++ monkey and he can write object-oriented code with the best of them. He even dabbles in Java and .Net, and he’s a steal at $10,000.”, said the shopkeeper.

The tourist, clearly shocked by the price, said “$10,000? That’s gotta be your most expensive animal.”

The shopkeeper replied, “Not even close. We have one more monkey that’s even more expensive, and he costs $50,000.”

Sputtering, the tourist said “Holy crap! What the heck does a $50,000 monkey do for you?”

The shopkeeper scratched his head and matter-of-factly said “Well, I haven’t actually seen him do anything, but he says he’s a project manager”.

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Neil Patrick Harris shows Jimmy Fallon a card trick.

Neil Patrick Harris. Jimmy Fallon. Card trick. There’s just too much awesome in this video for you to not watch it.

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10 Essential Twitter Etiquette Tips

Edit: Welcome, viewers from hrwebcafe.com

Whether you’re a Twitter n00b or you’ve used it long enough to know some basics of how Twitter works, there’s a good chance you’re making a few mistakes, socially speaking. Every community has unwritten rules of usage or proper behavior and Twitter is no different. Here are a few tips and tricks that I’ve learned (often the hard way) during my time on Twitter.

1. Don’t plagiarize: If you see an interesting tweet, regardless of whether or not it’s from someone you are following or a random post you found online, don’t try to pass it off as your own. Like most web-based communities Twitter self-polices very well and naughty boys and girls are made examples of swiftly and surely. Make things easier on yourself and retweet (RT, to those in the know) your find for proper attribution. Not only will the original poster be thankful, but it’ll also help you join in the community.

   “How do I retweet?”, you say? Not to worry, little camper, learning how to retweet is simple. Let’s use me as an example. One of my recent tweets went as follows:

   halfbrown: I spent about an hour earlier ripping apart the Twitter JavaScript/JSON files for the Twitter HTML widget. It was… interesting.

   All you have to do is copy the aforementioned tweet, paste it into Twitter, and add the following to the beginning of the tweet: “RT @”, where the “@” is right in front of the original tweeter’s username so that your retweet looks like this:

   RT @halfbrown: I spent about an hour earlier ripping apart the Twitter JavaScript/JSON files for the Twitter HTML widget. It was… interesting.

   The “RT” lets people know you are retweeting, and the @username lets Twitter and other applications know that you are referencing that username. That’s it! You’re now an official RT expert. Of course if you use an app like TweetDeck it has an RT button in it to make things easier on you, but doesn’t it feel better to know the mechanics of a retweet?

2. Easy on the tweets: Shoot for a maximum of 4 or 5 tweets per day. Yes, it’s fun to detail every moment of your life, but you not only need to be careful of TMI when you Twitter, you also need to realize that anything beyond 4-5 posts in a 24 hour period might seem like spamming unless you are pumping out consistently interesting or useful links or information. And no, your 11 tweets about that spicy chimichanga you had for lunch and the subsequent run to 7-11 for some Tums probably won’t be classified as useful information. Not in the long run.

3. Stay focused: It’s very tempting to add more than one URL or hashtag when posting. Don’t. Keep an eagle-eyed focus on each post to make sure that you don’t confuse your followers. If you simply must add more than one hashtag or URL you might want to think about DMing your message to the appropriate peeps or maybe even writing a blog post and then linking to it from Twitter to get the best of both worlds.

4. Let us know you’re joking: Written communication like tweets, IM’s, and email can’t convey the subtle inflections that the spoken word can. If you’re trying to be humorous make sure to let people know you’re joking by adding a smiley face “:)”, an “LOL“, or a well placed “j/k“. Remember that the written word always sounds ~3x harsher to others than it does to you and re-tool your content appropriately.

5. Get to know your followers: You’ll have a much bigger impact on your followers if you can find out what makes them tick, learn their (online) personalities, and deliver the content, information, or entertainment to them that they want. And the only way you’ll do this is by listening to what they have to say in their tweets, their blog posts, etc. By all means jump into the pool with the rest of the Twitter community, but once you’re in the water wade in the shallow end for a while until you get a good feel for how the rest of us are swimming. You don’t want to belly flop your first time out.

6. Know when to DM: Direct messages are a great way to continue a long conversation with someone, or to send them information you don’t want publicly available like a phone number or private email address. DM’s tend to feel more personal, too, so be sure to not abuse your followers with too many messages. No one wants a stalker.

7. One message = one tweet: Your followers are more than likely going to be hit with a lot of tweets during the course of a day. Don’t unnecessarily add to the mix by re-posting the same tweet multiple times. It’s rude, it’s spammy, and it’s a waste of everyones time.

8. Keep private things on the DL: Going to a party with a bunch of friends? Making plans for a special date with your SO? After-work drinks with your co-workers? Great! But don’t spill too many details, otherwise you just might open the door for a real buzzkill by having unwelcome party crashers show up.

9. Would you want your grandma to read your tweet?: Even if you have a protected profile, you still have followers who read your tweets. Never post anything you wouldn’t want a beloved family member or local sheriff to read such as embarrassingly graphic details of your love life, the who’s who of your KOS list (those of you who PVP in online games know what I’m talkin’ ’bout), or especially what you think of your boss or your job. Things posted online live forever, and there’s no way to take them back. Ever.

10. Not everyone will read (or follow) this list of Twitter etiquette tips: You should know by now that the internet is chock-a-block full of idiots, naysayers, and contrarians. Don’t get spun up by their posts and then sucked into a flame war because someone else is a nut. Either ignore them or block them. Problem solved and you don’t look like just as big an idiot for falling prey to their brand of crazy.

That’s it. Ten simple rules to make your life on Twitter easier. For the most part you can consider these tips more of a guideline than actual rules of the road and of course they can be fudged a bit every now and again, but be careful when doing so. The last thing you want is to be That Guy (or girl) and find yourself in the hot seat.

Happy Twittering!

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The genius of blues artist Buddy Guy.

It was late 2004 when I fell in love with the Blues — right around the time I first started teaching myself how to play the guitar. And soon enough my new found interest grew into a full-fledged passion I threw myself into, learning all I could about the history, the legends, etc.

As I learned more of the genre, I learned more about the greats like Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, and BB King, but I also found myself running into the name Buddy Guy cited as a player, innovator, and muse. Buddy is a living legend amongst blues guitarists and he has inspired the likes of Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Eric Clapton, and thousands upon thousands of others during his long career.

I wanted to hear more from the man than the snippets I found online, so I went to Amazon.com and bought his Grammy award winning CD “Damn Right, I’ve Got The Blues”. To my surprise and delight I was blown away by every single track. I now have about a half dozen of his CDs, including the career-spanning box set “Can’t Quit The Blues”. With each CD or video I hear/see I become more and more amazed at Buddy’s incredible talent and showmanship.

Speaking of showmanship, his performances are legendary for his interaction with the audience, his humor, and of course his blinding skills with his signature polka dot Fender Stratocaster. I was lucky enough to see Buddy in concert during the August of 2006 at the Tulalip Amphitheater (North of Seattle), and it was all that I hoped it would be. Here are a few pictures from that night:

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The Wit and Wisdom Of Larry the Cable Guy.

My friend Scott just IMed me this list of quotes from Larry the Cable Guy and I thought I’d share it with all of you. Enjoy!

• A day without sunshine is like night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets The cheese in the trap.
• Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
• OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
• When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
• Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’
• Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
• Light travels faster than sound.. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

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Favorite Songs #22.

A tribute to fathers everywhere, and the children that they love.

Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the Band

Harry Chapin - Cats in the Cradle

Damn you, Harry Chapin, for singing such a touching song that kills me every time I hear it.

Now I’m not normally one who likes to mess with classics, but this cover of Cats in the Cradle by Ugly Kid Joe was pretty decent, actually.

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Valid Twitter HMTL

I’ve going through, slowly but surely, the code on my blog to get everything validated. (And yes, I know I still have a lot of work to do, no need to tell me LOL) The biggest problem is with embedded links to videos and I’m getting there with those (it’s just tedious to fix/update them all), but the real surprise was that the Twitter HTML widget didn’t validate.

The problem is that they have an empty <ul> (e.g. without any <li>’s). However, the fix is simple enough. For your viewing and using pleasure, please check out my simple fix to make the Twitter HTML widget validate (based on the code as they have it available today). The actual fix is in bold:

<div id="twitter_div">
<h2 class="sidebar-title">Twitter Updates</h2>
<ul id="twitter_update_list"><li style=”display: none;”></li></ul>
<a href=”http://twitter.com/YOUR_USER_NAME” id=”twitter-link” style=”display:block;text-align:right;”>follow me on Twitter</a>
</div>
<script type=”text/javascript” src=”http://twitter.com/javascripts/blogger.js”></script>
<script type=”text/javascript” src=”http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/YOUR_USER_NAME.json?callback=twitterCallback2&count=5″></script>

That’s it! Easy peasy, Mac-n-Cheesey… just make sure to also replace “YOUR_USER_NAME” with your actual Twitter username.

I have no idea why the fine folks at Twitter didn’t make such a simple and obvious fix to make their HTML widget validate, but I’m going to assume it’s because they were desperately trying to figure out how to create a working business model out of their service instead of fixing little things like this problem.

Anyhow if you use it, think it’s wrong, or otherwise want to discuss my simple Twitter fix above please feel free to leave a comment or even follow me on Twitter. I hope you find it useful.

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Posted in Development | 1 Comment »

The muse is upon me!

I spent most of the night (technically morning) fleshing out a new story idea I’ve been batting around in my head lately. This story feels much stronger than any of the other ideas I’ve been working on and I’m definitely in the honeymoon stage of my relationship with the story and the characters involved. I can already visualize each character and their individual personalities, scenes from the movie, and even a couple of different poster ideas. I’m very excited!

It feels good to have ideas flow so easily when for the last few months there has been a creative drought between my ears and now there’s a deluge of material coming out of the ink well and onto the paper. With any luck I’ll be ready to transfer my notes to the computer and really get to cracking on it soon.

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GI Joe: The Rise of COBRA

I was kinda iffy on the whole “GI Joe” movie idea until I saw a trailer for it, and now I know that I want to see it. And knowing is half the battle.

One ticket for GI Joe, please.

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For Marshal: “talsywhicachk”

Dear Marshal,

No one should have a dream dashed, so I have decided to ensure that every time you search for talsywhicachk you will find it and remember your good friend Jon. I’m not sure how you came up with talsywhicachk, but I want you to be happy.

Happy Googling, my talsywhicachk-seeking friend!

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Posted in Family and Friends | 1 Comment »